Have you ever broken a vase before? Have you ever tried to repair it? You might have been able to with much diligence and effort. A problem still remains, however.
The cracks are still visible.
You can put forth your best effort hide those cracks, but they’re still there.
You’re probably wondering why I’m bringing this up. It’s because that illustrates the pain I’ve inflicted on others through my words. Despite apologizing, and despite how utterly regretful I am for saying those words, the wound, or the crack, is still there. That wound might never go away. As such, I’ve permanently scarred the connection to those who were once my friends.
So, I’m kind of pulling a Linus Torvalds and going on hiatus until I am mentally better. I don’t know how long it will be, but it will probably be longer than the previous breaks that I took. I’m thinking it will be a couple of months. Between the painful aftermath from the breakup with one of my closest friends; my deep-seated jealousy over some other content creators that have made me sick to my stomach; my brother having Lyme disease; and my father going through some mysterious illness, knowing that he probably only has a few years left to live – it hasn’t exactly been the easiest past couple of months.
I recognize that as a result of these things, I’ve said some very hurtful words to some people. Most of them didn’t even do anything wrong to me. Some have described my behavior as “extreme,” “hostile,” “erratic.” This also explains why I temporarily shut my website down along with my social media accounts a few months ago. I need the break to figure out what went wrong and what I can do to correct my actions.
To any and all whom I’ve offended: I offer my humblest, sincerest apologies. My Discord DMs and my inbox are always open if there’s anything that I can do to make amends with you.
I am looking into professional help. See if I can get to the bottom of this. I’m sincerely hoping that when I return I will come back as a better person. That I can talk about things other than news, put my personality back into my articles, actually enjoy writing again, and not risk losing my friendships.
I’d like to thank the community – as well as fellow content creators, distro maintainers, and the incredible Matthew Anderson and his wife – for the tremendous amount of support that they have given me over the 17 months LGC has been around. I have truly been blessed to have such a wonderful support line and people that let me know they have genuinely appreciated the work I have put into this site.
WARNING: LGC will be shutting down March 7, 2024. See this post for more details.